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Couples Not For Christ

December 30, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments
Unless you have God in your life, all the philosophy in the world won’t save you from your raging hormones!
Bo Sanchez gave a talk about purity during his Kerygma conference last November 29.  He posted a summary of his talk in his blog, which he entitled “Are You Sexually Pure?  It sure hit a nerve with a lot of people, and as of this writing it is his most popular post as far as I could tell. 
Suffice it to say I could not help but react and post a question on his blog:
Just out of sheer curiosity: Why are unmarried couples tempted to have sex anyway? I’ve never been in a relationship before so I can only guess the reasons.
I’m pretty sure it’s more than just having “too much idle time” on their hands. Is it because they want to explore each other’s bodies? Is it because they want to have fun and experience sexual pleasure? Is it because they want to show their love for one another?
Ultimately it is God’s grace that will save us from the evil of Lust… But it sure would help to get a basic understanding the “why” or the reasons for this happening.
I eventually answered myself (more or less) in a subsequent post by saying that “Unless you have God in your life, all the philosophy in the world won’t save you from your raging hormones!
The Curiosity with Couples
Between unmarried couples, perhaps the temptation is there because:
  1. There is someone available
  2. This person loves him/her
  3. Because this person loves him/her, she/he might be willing to do “it” with him/her
  4. This person might actually WANT to do “it” with him/her also. 
Beyond the physical attraction an unmarried couple may have for each other, I think what tempts them is the fact that there is a very strong emotional element involved, and this (I think anyway) makes the experience more inviting.  When an unmarried couple does “it,” it may actually start out as an expression of love for one another.  Ultimately this is a lie.
They may continue to believe that they are expressing love for each other, and perhaps even excuse the behavior with the reason that they’ll get married someday anyway.  However deep down it all just comes down to doing “it” for the pleasure it gives.
Here are two examples from Bo’s same blog from comment posts illustrating the lie:
  • A lady posted about her and her boyfriend doing “it.” Reading between the lines, I could sense that initially it may have been done out of an expression of love.  However she did narrate that she could not stop thinking about it with her boyfriend, and the only function she could do was fantasize about that, think about how they were going to do it, and then do it.  Subsequent encounters were more for selfish pleasure’s sake. 
  • Another lady posted about having three boyfriends in the past, each of them wanting to do “it” with her.  She never consented, and as a result was branded a kill joy (in so many words) and was dumped.  I think for this example it’s a case more of the guys just wanting to get pleasure using, and taking advantage of, this lady.  They did not really, truly love her.  They just wanted to use her for their own selfish pleasure. 
Sex is beautiful and in fact God created it Himself.  I think the reason why He’s extremely upset when people do this outside of marriage is because (1) it’s just done for selfish pleasure, and (2) for something this intimate it’s done without any real commitment to love each other at all.  This commitment can only be fully and truly expressed in marriage. 
Obviously there’s more to being pure than just resisting the temptation of this specific example. 
So…  Are you sexually pure?  Bo’s question is a question we should all be asking ourselves.  Let us all ask for God’s grace to be careful not to fall into this particular evil. 
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