Archive for June, 2009

Reassurance in God

June 29, 2009 Leave a comment
God loves us.  He loves us especially when we are not at our best – when we are at our worst and lowest, most broken, most bitter of moments. 
Whatever our spiritual condition may be, He still loves us nevertheless and still calls us by name.  He still calls us back home to Him Who is Love and Mercy Himself. 
We are all also called to live this particular life, in this particular time, and in this particular place in the world. 
Some are called to the single life.  Most are called to nurture families.  Only a few, select chosen ones are called to more explicitly participate in His work of Salvation through Holy Orders. 
Whatever the case may be, this is the path He chose out of love for us, for our own salvation. 
He is God after all.  We can rest assured that He knows what is best for us and He still loves us no matter what. 
Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You! 
Categories: Personal

Trust in God

June 27, 2009 Leave a comment
I take comfort in the insight Kuya Kevin shared in his post entitled "Morning after Mourning" that "the sadness will not last forever."  Towards the end of his post he states:
As long as you have committed to let go of the past, you will heal. It will take time. You may even be left with some emotional scars, but scars don’t hurt anymore. They are simply there to remind us of lessons learned.
No matter what is happening in your life, do not forget that joy comes in the morning.
I am hopeful of that.  And I do also know that this joy is possible if one has complete trust in God. 
There is a God.   It all began with Him, and it will all end with Him. 
Think about it: Out of love for us He gave us free will, and with that even the ability to reject Him if we so decided.  Looking at this rejection in terms of human justice, we all can understand why every offense we make against Him deserves punishment.  But only God can give satisfaction to God, and so out of love for us He sent His only Son to become sin and die for us.  Such is the testament of love that God has for each and every one of us His children! 
If He loves us that much to die for our sins, then how much more we can expect that He actually cares about everything else in our lives! 
Here are a few other insights worth noting from the Diary of St. Faustina concerning trust in God:
Entrust everything to Me and do nothing on your own, and you will always have great freedom of spirit. No circumstances of events will be able to upset you. (1685)
Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul’s distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness. (300)
I do not understand how it is possible not to trust in Him who can do all things. With Him, everything; without Him, nothing. He is Lord. He will not allow those who have placed all their trust in Him to be put to shame. (358)
Our deepest desires are what God wants for us.  Therefore the desire of my heart is the will of God for me – which is why I should be confident that He has someone for me.  It’s time for me to start living my life now. 
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.  (Isaiah 64:4)
I am hopeful because I have a reason to hope and trust in Him that everything is going to be okay in time, and that He has my ultimate good in mind in all that happens. 
God has ultimately, and even immediately, something very, very, very good in store for me. Smile
Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You! 
Categories: Personal

A New Hope

June 27, 2009 1 comment
Bo Sanchez published a post on June 8, 2009 entitled "Quit Often To Succeed In Life."  His insights into God and life in general never cease to amaze me.  In particular for this post, he outlined an idea that spoke close to my heart.  It is best summed up, and I quote thus:
Most of the time, the best way to solve your problems is not by solving your problems.  The best way to solve your problems is by making them irrelevant.  And the way to do that is to quit.
Three things first need to be defined:
  • Purpose is the final destination.
  • Path is the road going there.
  • Problem is the barrier on that road.
According to him people don’t quit because either (1) They confuse the path as being the purpose, or (2) They are not clear what their purpose is.  There is more than one path to take to achieve one’s purpose, one that will make the problem of the previous path irrelevant. 
I leave further details and explanations in Bo’s blog post.  Suffice it to say, it all made sense to me. 
I could see that in my life I’ve actually confused my path for my purpose. 
  • Purpose: To have a happy marriage. 
  • Path: ______. 
  • Problem: ______. 
The path I chose had a substantial problem: She could only see me as a friend, and nothing more than that.  Over the course of many years in trying to solve that problem, I lost track of my purpose in life.  Instead of having a happy marriage it became winning over her heart.  To do that I had to solve the problem but no matter what I did, she just couldn’t see me as anything more than just a friend. 
I guess it’s good that things happened the way they did, for it allowed me to step back and re-focus on my purpose. 
My purpose has not changed.  However my path will, now.  I now hereby commit to find a new path that does not have the same problem as before.  There’s bound to still be some problem along the way, but it will be something that I can handle – God-willing all of this, of course! 
This will also make the problem of my previous path irrelevant to me. 
God Still Has Control

The one Person I consciously try to involve in all aspects of my life is God.  Literally, without Him I can do nothing.  Ultimately, all work that happens in my life is done by Him and in His time.  All that He asks is that I trust Him that what He’s doing for me is in my best interest. 

God deserves priority in our hearts; we should love Him above all things first and foremost. 

That said…  When I find the “One” for me, I will love and care for her first and foremost as my expression of my love for God.  He deserves it, and He’s the reason why any one of us is capable of loving in the first place.  Hopefully she feels the same way about me, too; well and good, for doing this for her will be my second reason. 

I believe it’s important for me to take this approach because the reality is that life can be so uncertain.  I thought my previous path was the “One” but I was wrong.  It doesn’t mean that I won’t be wrong again.  If God wills that I go through this same trial again, for whatever reason He believes is best for me, then at least the love that I have shown her did not go to waste, for everything offered up to Him out of love never does. 

In His grand scheme of things, I would like to think that the love I have shown my previous love did not go to waste, too.  I trust in God that such is the case. 

The cynical side of me thinks I’m over-spiritualizing things again.  There may be some truth to that.  However one thing I feel is true of me, too: Sometimes this is all that I have left.  If it were not for my attempts to involve God in my life, I would be in such worse shape, if not already dead. 

I feel renewed. Smile Taking a step back and re-focusing on what my real purpose is gives me new hope that, God-willing, things will be so much better this time around – whatever happens. 
Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You! 
Categories: Personal

No More Irrelevant

June 27, 2009 Leave a comment
Change is good.  Sometimes it is the only way for us to move on.  There are some things that I felt I no longer needed — things that I can let go now because they have served their purpose, and it’s time to put them away to make room for what’s new.  For those looking for such material, these are no longer here.  I’ve moved on.  And I thank you for being the patient friend that you are in accompanying me in my journey in life.  I’m starting a new chapter in my journey.  Won’t you join me again in this new adventure?  Open-mouthed
I have finally lost my tunnel-vision.  The world is a very big place again for me. 
Despite its madness, praise God that it is still a very beautiful world, indeed!  It’s so nice to feel so alive. Smile
Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You!
Categories: Personal

The Perfect Person

June 23, 2009 Leave a comment
The Perfect Person
Written by J.M. Whitaker
For as long as I can remember, I have been searching for the perfect girl. Since I was old enough to begin longing for female companionship, I have been on the hunt. I guess it started out as just a simple dream or fantasy, not unlike most of us. The strange thing about it was that it never stayed just a dream or a fantasy. The more people I dated, the more times I was let down, the more I hungered for that perfect person, the one that would fill all of my needs and desires, the one that would never let me down.
I dated girl after girl. Some of them were great while others got me into some trouble. Some of them made me laugh, but a lot of them made me cry. Through my journey, I found a lot of joy and a lot of sorrow, a lot of happiness and a lot of pain, but never the perfect girl. I had dreamed about her. Dark hair, darker eyes, a slim figure tinted golden brown from the sun. She had an accent and could play the cello. She would love to talk, but wouldn’t expect me to talk too much. She would always ask me how my day was and would always have a smile on her face; absolute perfection. I began to devise methods in how I would meet the girls I would date.
I knew I wanted an intelligent girl, so I hung out in libraries and museums. I meet this real crazy girl at a library after school one day. She was smart and sexy and, well? crazy. I would rather not go into a lot of details about it. Let’s just say she had some real deep-seated anxieties about our relationship and, consequentially, our break up.
I knew I wanted an artistic girl, so I went to music stores and coffee shops, I even tried a couple of classical concerts. I met this wonderfully cute girl who dressed really dark and loved to write poetry. She was great, we used to stay up all night long talking about the silliest things, but she ended up dumping me for some guy who did drugs and rode a motorcycle. I got into a car accident with a girl driving a Pontiac Sunfire. She had no driver’s license or car insurance, but she did have a really great smile and the prettiest hair. Instead of calling the police, we called in sick and went out to eat.
We dated for a while but eventually came across an irreconcilable difference in opinions. She didn’t always feel the need to come "straight home" after work. Okay, to be honest, toward the end of our relationship, she rarely came home at all.
Then there was the girl from the International House of Pancakes. She was an exact replica of my personality. I mean if you had met us both over some Internet chat room, you would swear we were the same person using multiple screen-names. Sounds sweet, huh? Have you ever considered marrying yourself? Have you ever thought about growing old together, just you and yourself? We both found that the whole idea of finding that "perfect person" was to find someone different from yourself to fulfill the empty spots within you.
I searched every where. I left no rock unturned, no leaf moved aside, but to no avail. After much pain and heartache, I began to believe that the perfect girl just did not exist. Then one day, I found her.
Her name was Malia. She was from Hawaii, raised in Italy. She wore silk pajama pants to bed. She had written a novel. She loved the beach and hated cats, just like me. She had silky, dark and curly hair that swayed perfectly if the breeze was right. She had a caramel colored body, etched out of a block of pure perfection, and her face was that of an angel. From the very first time I saw her, I could not seem to take my eyes away from hers. She was like a siren, calling my name, beckoning me closer to her, even when she was asleep. The attraction was complete, with no faults, no annoyances. Every time she spoke she mesmerized me and every time she moved she amazed me. She was… well, perfect. Oh, and did I mention she played the cello?
We spent all the extra time we had together. We spent so much time together that we decided to move in together. We were paying rent on two places, but one of them was doing nothing but collecting dust. We would sit on the porch when it rained and hold each other. We would lay on the beach and soak up a sweet combination of sunrays and pina coladas. Life was good. No, life was perfect and I knew it just couldn’t possibly get any better than it was right then and there.
Two years later, Malia left me for a career-opportunity at a really prominent university in Europe. There were no harsh words, no angry feelings, not even any sad good-byes. She was so perfect that if she wanted to leave, I wanted it for her. That is, until she was gone.
I cried for days, and began to drink for weeks after that. I felt as if my life was over, that the only reason that I had existed was gone, and every breath I took from that moment on was a futile attempt to hold on to something I later found I never had: The Perfect Love.
Malia was perfect. She was perfect in each and every single way, but I was not. Our love for each other was a deeply committed one, but it was far from perfect. I know that now, but if I could go back in time to tell myself that in an attempt to save myself from all of that pain and suffering, I fear I would not have listened to myself.
I slept with many women, sometimes a different girl every week. I drank excessively and spent all of my money on temporary satisfaction, anything to ease the pain. But the pain did not ease, it only grew stronger. It became a vicious circle of self-inflicted torture that eventually brought me to my knees and forced me to open my eyes to the real world. But not before it made me a bitter man.
I was wiser, but to this day, the decisions made left a coldness in my eyes that made my heart appear as lead to anyone who dared look. I became a loner, staying home on the weekends, saving my money for a healthy but lonely retirement, having accepted my fate. I was to be alone for the rest of my life.
Kathy with a K. Actually, her name is spelled Kathyrn. Quite peculiar, but I didn’t think so until later. For the longest time, I never even knew her name. But she was a sight for sore and lonely eyes. I saw her at work. I was her boss (actually, I was her boss’ boss) and did not want to risk the chance of even speaking to her. She was just too beautiful, and I had become a beast with a past too horrible to mention. I would just watch her as she passed my office every day. She didn’t walk, she frolicked, and I would sneak out for a break whenever she did just to watch that frolicking.
She smiled every time someone spoke to her, a smile like the early morning sun, and her eyes were so dark that you couldn’t see her pupils, only the glimmering from the light that made her eyes look like two bright stars. I was under her spell and I didn’t even know her name. One day, watching her outside, I convinced myself to ask around about her. Find out her name and maybe even find out if she was seeing someone. Just as I had decided that she spoke to me. Kathy with a K. She ended up asking me out, you know. I told her I couldn’t that night because I had to work late.
Actually, I was too scared. I called her and asked her if she wanted to go to Starbucks after work the next day and she agreed. It turned out to be the most romantic night of both of our lives. We were both still pretty new in town and didn’t really know our way around. I had no idea what I was going to do or where I was going to take her next so I winged it the whole way. Like I said, it turned out to be the most romantic night of both of our lives. It was perfect.
She was not perfect, but neither was I. We both carried a truckload of emotional baggage and we both had a mountain of flaws. But it was perfect. She would always forget to plug in her cell phone at night, but I would always remind her. I couldn’t do laundry worth a flip, but she showed me how. She could never get to work on time, and she hated to drive, but we both had to be at work on time so I drove us both there. Whenever she was slacking I was always right over her shoulder, and when I would lose track of what I was trying to do, she would help to keep me focused.
We complemented each other in every single way. Neither of us was perfect, but we were perfect for each other. When you’re out there looking for that perfect person keep these things in mind. People change, no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older you mature, and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at twenty could be the person you hate when you’re thirty-five. You have to find some one who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack, a person whom you can fill in for when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person, you ask? They do not exist. Even Malia was not perfect because the perfect girl in my dreams was supposed to stay with me.
There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other.
You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who keeps you waiting but in the arms of someone who will take you now, love you forever and leave you never.
Categories: Ideas and Philosophy

In The End

June 22, 2009 Leave a comment
Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of Hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who need most of Your mercy. 
I say this for myself, but I guess this applies to everyone, too: 
Marriage and relationships are not the end goals in life.  Therefore we should not be too fixated with it.  Remember that these are just vocations, a means to an end – and the end is being with God in Heaven.  Some people are called to such vocations, and others are not. 
In whatever path in life that we are called to follow, whether we choose it or seem to have no choice in the matter at all, all of this should ultimately bring us back to Him Who created us out of love and Who wishes us to experience the joy of His company for all eternity. 
In the end, when one is lying on one’s death bed, none of the things in this world, including how many relationships we’ve had or how happy our marriage was, will matter if the most important end goal is not achieved.  In fact if it’s not helping one to go to Heaven then it really is not the best thing to have in one’s life. 
For myself, I pray that I never lose sight of the more important things that await me in the next life, while seeing to it that I am able to prepare to receive them during this life.  That is not to say, of course, that I neglect achieving my full potential or dreams in life, only that I should not get too caught up in them to forget that these are not my ultimate ends. 
We only have one ultimate end, and that is to be with God forever. 
Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You! 
Categories: Personal

Kids Are A Blessing

June 21, 2009 1 comment
I could not help but react to this Durex condom advertisement I saw today.
Apparently this is an old advertisement; some posts I’ve seen discussing this tag it at five years old. 
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it sends the wrong message that having kids are a bad thing. 
Regardless of the circumstances (i.e. the kid was an “accident” because the couple is not ready to be parents, etc.) kids are a blessing from God! 
It is an honor and a privilege to be a father.  Not many are called to be fathers, and of those called not many are good ones.  Sure no one is perfect, but despite that there are still many, many more who are called to be fathers and who are just fantastic at their job! 
If preventing “accidents” really mattered that much, then why not just abstain from sex completely?  That is the most effective method, and it also saves one from contracting sexually transmitted diseases.  And, “being human with sexual needs” is no excuse to use and take advantage of other people to satisfy one’s lust.
Come on, people!  Can we please change our attitude towards how we treat our neighbor (they are not objects of pleasure!) and how we see children?  It’s no wonder our world is in such a mess now. 
Instead of a culture of death, let us promote a culture of life! 
We can save the world and make this a better place if we treat each other right, one man, woman and child at a time. 
To all Fathers here now and those who have come home to God – Happy Father’s Day to all of you!  May our God bless you and keep you in the right path in your vocation.  Thank you, for without you we your children wouldn’t be here now. 
And may God our Father have a Happy Father’s Day too!  He deserves it, too, you know.
Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You! 
Post-Script: Kids are like: You see the best in you and your spouse in them.  They symbolize that.  And that’s not just from a genetic and physical aspect.  You just know that the future is with them, and their success and joy in life translates to your own… and even more.
Categories: Ideas and Philosophy