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Fart Analysis

This post goes out to Karen and the few other people who read my blog, hehehe.  Sorry, I don’t have anything profound at the moment.  So this will have to do for now; an e-mail forward from January 11, 1997.  Might come in useful someday.  At the very least this would put a smile on someone’s face (I think).  Hey, you can actually use this to check yourself! Open-mouthed
 

 
Fart Analysis: Find Your True Self!
  1. The Vain Person: One who loves the smell of his own farts.
  2. The Amiable Person: One who loves the smell of other people’s farts.
  3. The Proud Person: One who thinks his farts are exceptionally fine.
  4. The Shy Person: One who releases silent farts and then blushes.
  5. The Impudent Person: One who farts loudly and then laughs.
  6. The Scientific Person: One who farts regularly but is truly concerned about air pollution.
  7. The Unfortunate Person: One who tries awfully hard to fart but s*** instead.
  8. The Nervous Person: One who stops in the middle of a fart.
  9. The Honest Person: One who admits he farted but offers a medical reason for it.
  10. The Dishonest Person: One who farts and then blames the dog.
  11. The Foolish Person: One who suppresses a fart for hours and hours.
  12. The Thrifty Person: One who always has several farts in reserve.
  13. The Antisocial Person: One who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy.
  14. The Strategic Person: One who conceals his farts with loud laughter.
  15. The Sadistic Person: One who farts in bed and then fluffs the bed covers over his bed mates head.
  16. The Intellectual Person: One who determines from the smell of his neighbor’s fart precisely the latest food item he consumed.
  17. The Athletic Person: One who farts at the slightest exertion.
  18. The Miserable Person: One who would truly love to but can’t fart at all.
  19. The Sensitive Person: One who farts and then bursts into tears.
  20. The Bruiser: One who farts so hard and loud that he bruises his butt cheeks.

 

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Categories: Health and wellness
  1. Karen
    July 27, 2009 at 12:42 am

    haha.. this post proves wala ka tlgang mapost ..wehehe…but its funny 🙂

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