Home > Ideas and Philosophy > Burning Time That Is Unstoppable

Burning Time That Is Unstoppable

December 24, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

As of this point, I feel like I burned through two days of my vacation leave.

Each day has so far been useful and productive with the things I wanted to do.  No time was wasted, and that’s a good thing.  However the fact that I was busy felt like I was “working” and so there’s a part of me that felt like I was also “wasting” my time.  The only other thing I could think of to do is to literally not do anything at all and just watch the day go by.  In other words, it would be somewhat interesting, for a change, to just waste the time away doing nothing.

When I had a chat with a lovely friend of mine, we talked about the hectic work and schedule that was waiting for me when I got back next year.  There’s a lot of pressure for me to deliver.  Last night, I dreamt about a myriad of meetings that filled my calendar and the stress that came from trying to manage all of them.  Even during these times that I’m on break I feel like I’ve already resumed working instead.

I realize that I feel stressed with the pressure of doing something or not doing something during this time, given that there’s plenty of work waiting for me, soon.  It just doesn’t feel like there’s enough time to do things – or to not even do anything at all!  There’s just never enough time for everything and anything.

There are things that I think I should be doing.  However I feel that there are things that are actually more fulfilling and valuable in my life, and so I should be prioritizing these instead.  I don’t have time to do everything, and so I’ll inevitably miss out on pursuing some things.  But doing the things that makes me happier are ultimately worth whatever it is that I’m losing.

Whatever I do or not do, one thing is clear to me at this point: I’m burning time as it marches on, and there’s no stopping it.  My only hope is that everything and anything that I do or intentionally not do, either on break or during business as usual moments, counts and adds value to my life.  Besides, I don’t need the time to do everything and anything; I just need the time to do the right things.

I shall light the fire and watch time burn brightly.  It’s something I have to do.

Categories: Ideas and Philosophy

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