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Archive for December, 2016

Attaining a Sense of Closure

December 27, 2016 1 comment

The beginning of closure is when something is done and it can never be undone.  For as long as you can still do something about it, hoping against hope that there’s still a chance, you will continue to care because it can still matter to you.  However when nothing more can be done about it, the reason to keep on trying and hoping no longer exists.  It’s irrelevant if you accept it or not: You’ll still be forced to acknowledge that it’s over.  Sometimes, it’s only when God undeniably closes a door that we can start to move on, because it’s only then that we’d be forced to look at the window He has opened.  And sometimes, we’ll never be able to get the closure we need, so we also need to learn to accept the closure we deserve but will never get.

There are at least two life scenarios where having closure is emotionally crucial.

The loss of a love because she chose someone else is indisputably awful.  The chance you have with her is gone forever.  However this sense of closure that you get from her is actually still a blessing because it allows for your continued chance to look for and consider someone else in your life.

Despair over the loss of a life, especially of people near and dear to you, is the most dreadful experience that will happen to all of us.  You know this to be permanent, and it’s this sense of life’s finality that forces you to confront the grim reality of their absence.  One thing is for sure: You don’t stop loving someone once they’re no longer around; ironically it’s during such times when you love them even more, even if they unfortunately aren’t around anymore to see and feel it.  The sense of closure comes when you stop feeling despair over the loss because you’ve learned to carry on with your life even without them.

It’s difficult to get closure if you’re constantly exposed to things that remind you of what or who you don’t have or no longer have.  However time has a way of healing wounds.  It gives the space needed to reflect on the events of life, and appreciate the will, work, and ultimate good of God in such events, even in the midst of tragedy.  It provides the emotional distance from the hurtful event, sometimes to the point that it doesn’t matter anymore.  The pain experienced will eventually feel like a lifetime ago when one day it becomes irrelevant to the present time, because you have moved on with your life and are busy with other and more important things, and rightly so.  Time can be your friend because it can help provide the closure sought.

Attain a sense of closure by accepting as the new reality the things that can no longer be changed, and adjusting your life to accommodate it.

 

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Categories: Ideas and Philosophy

Believe In Something Greater Than Yourself

December 17, 2016 1 comment

I watched the movie “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” yesterday.  It’s the tale of the Rebel Alliance’s attempt to steal the plans of the Death Star; it’s basically a prequel to the events of the first Star Wars movie.  What the protagonists did was nothing less than heroic – literally to the point of martyrdom.  They were able to steal the plans that eventually helped destroy the Death Star.  However none of them survived the wrath of the empire; they were part of the heavy losses the Rebel Alliance sustained.

Up to the last minute I was hoping against hope that they would somehow survive, but I’m not surprised all of them died.  This is a sad movie for me.  But I feel there’s a lesson to be learned from the story.

If you truly believe in something greater than yourself, then you’ll be willing to do anything for it, even to the point of giving up your life for the cause.  Your life’s story will come to an end, and perhaps you won’t be remembered for your contributions to the cause – but that’s not the point.  The point is because of your sacrifice, the bigger story was able to continue and unfold, and that’s the more important matter.

On a more spiritual note, believing in something greater than you is what makes up Saints and Martyrs.  At the end of the day the work of salvation still belongs to God.  However He gives us a chance to participate in His work and to contribute to the unfolding story of His love for all of us.  That’s what the Saints and Martyrs did, and in the course of doing so, a lot of them lost their lives – but gained eternity in recompense.

The way we live our life for Him – and if absolutely necessary, how we even die for Him – is reflective of how much we truly believe that He is our ultimate goal and desire both in this life and in the next, for the greatest thing that one can ever believe in, worth following and dying for, is God.

Categories: Ideas and Philosophy