Home > Ideas and Philosophy > Attaining a Sense of Closure

Attaining a Sense of Closure

December 27, 2016 Leave a comment Go to comments

The beginning of closure is when something is done and it can never be undone.  For as long as you can still do something about it, hoping against hope that there’s still a chance, you will continue to care because it can still matter to you.  However when nothing more can be done about it, the reason to keep on trying and hoping no longer exists.  It’s irrelevant if you accept it or not: You’ll still be forced to acknowledge that it’s over.  Sometimes, it’s only when God undeniably closes a door that we can start to move on, because it’s only then that we’d be forced to look at the window He has opened.  And sometimes, we’ll never be able to get the closure we need, so we also need to learn to accept the closure we deserve but will never get.

There are at least two life scenarios where having closure is emotionally crucial.

The loss of a love because she chose someone else is indisputably awful.  The chance you have with her is gone forever.  However this sense of closure that you get from her is actually still a blessing because it allows for your continued chance to look for and consider someone else in your life.

Despair over the loss of a life, especially of people near and dear to you, is the most dreadful experience that will happen to all of us.  You know this to be permanent, and it’s this sense of life’s finality that forces you to confront the grim reality of their absence.  One thing is for sure: You don’t stop loving someone once they’re no longer around; ironically it’s during such times when you love them even more, even if they unfortunately aren’t around anymore to see and feel it.  The sense of closure comes when you stop feeling despair over the loss because you’ve learned to carry on with your life even without them.

It’s difficult to get closure if you’re constantly exposed to things that remind you of what or who you don’t have or no longer have.  However time has a way of healing wounds.  It gives the space needed to reflect on the events of life, and appreciate the will, work, and ultimate good of God in such events, even in the midst of tragedy.  It provides the emotional distance from the hurtful event, sometimes to the point that it doesn’t matter anymore.  The pain experienced will eventually feel like a lifetime ago when one day it becomes irrelevant to the present time, because you have moved on with your life and are busy with other and more important things, and rightly so.  Time can be your friend because it can help provide the closure sought.

Attain a sense of closure by accepting as the new reality the things that can no longer be changed, and adjusting your life to accommodate it.

 

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