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Weekend Hyped Happiness

May 7, 2017 Leave a comment

It has occurred to me that there’s a lot of hype about how happy weekends are because, generally-speaking, there’s no work. That’s true. But I think because we tend to think that weekends are that great, that makes the other five days of the week “lousy” (unless there’s a holiday). The eventual end of the weekend signals the end of happiness, and this thought can be quite depressing. Speaking for myself, it’s no wonder I get psyched the wrong way. In other words, weekend fun ironically leads to stress.

I think rather than hype weekends for how great they are, even if they are such, a possibly helpful mind-hack would be to think that weekends are just like the other days of the week. Strictly speaking, weekends are just like weekdays anyway. But you can think of weekends as also “work days,” except that there are no meetings scheduled, and the time you have is whatever “work” you want to do instead of what the company wants you to do.

The key idea here is that every single day of the week, whether it’s a weekday or a weekend, is a day that can and should be fulfilling. It’s fulfilling if you have a sense of purpose for what you want to do that day. And because you have a sense of purpose, this is the reason to be happy on that day.

You can and should have a reason to be happy every day of the week and not just on weekends. It can be challenging at times, but it’s not impossible.

Categories: Ideas and Philosophy

Martyrs for Jesus the Christ: Keep the Faith

April 14, 2017 Leave a comment

I watched some parts of a movie entitled “Silence.” It’s about Portuguese missionaries attempting to spread and sustain the Christian faith in Japan in the 1600s, at a time when the faith was outlawed and persecution was rampant. One missionary was killed, but eventually another one, the main character, was forced to apostatize (renounce the faith) to literally save the lives of Japanese faithful (and those who previously apostatized) from torture and death.  There’s an underlying theme of God’s silence throughout such hardship, which has lead the main character, a priest, to the edge of despair. Eventually the priest was forced to apostatize and renew his renunciation every so often until the end of his life.

The Church will continue to be persecuted for the simple fact that we’re a counter-cultural force in the world. In my opinion, I’d go so far as to say that if the Church isn’t being criticized or attacked for something, then we’ve failed to live out our duty to Christ. In these modern times the Church and even non-Catholic Christians suffer from one form of persecution or another. You’re lucky if you live in a country where the Church is just being criticized and ridiculed. What’s sad is sometimes the criticism comes from fellow Catholics and Christians; instead of trying to understand each other, we end up dividing each other instead. And there are still some nations where it’s illegal to practice the faith, and so you do so in secret under pain of literal death.

Martyrdom

The safest place to be is in the center of God’s will… even if that center is right smack in the middle of chaos. – one of my friends, Jade S.

The blood of martyrs seeded the faith of the early Church. In one form or another, such has continued to happen throughout the centuries, and still continues to happen in this day and age. This movie got me thinking about how far one would actually be willing to go to keep the faith.

It’s a lot to ask to be a martyr for Jesus the Christ. The experience in Japan, as depicted in this movie anyway, got me thinking that there’s an “easy way” and there’s a “hard way” to be a martyr. Both still involve horrendous pain, but the approach to inflict it can be “very involved.” The “easy way” is you’re subjected to torment. If it’s just you involved, then it makes the decision to die for Jesus relatively easier, because the worst that could happen is that you lose your life – it’s just you, and no one else. The “hard way” is if other people are held hostage: Give up the faith, otherwise other people will die. There’s an element of psychological torment in this latter approach because you somehow become responsible for the life and death of others – you have the power to do something to change that, but it will involve a cost too great to bear.

When it comes to the “hard way” of martyrdom, you lose with whatever decision you make. Strictly speaking, it’s still a grave sin to renounce your faith, even if by doing so you get to save the lives of others. It’s still a sin to not do anything, when you have the power to do something, to save the lives of other people, if you decide to keep your faith instead; in effect here, you’re not just deciding to be a martyr, but you’re also deciding for other people that they will also be martyrs when perhaps such is far from their minds.  Choosing between the lesser evil is, ultimately, still choosing evil.

Obviously, the “hard way” of martyrdom isn’t fair at all, and it’s not surprising to find yourself questioning God’s sense of justice in this scenario. I think it’s worth remembering that Jesus is the Just Judge – He’s NOT the sadistic judge! His sense of justice is still present; I won’t pretend to know and I won’t speculate how He will make the call in this scenario. But what I do know, in faith, is that Jesus’ sense of compassion is also always present, and more than likely so in this particular situation. At the end of the day, what’s important for God is that you do what you do out of great love for Him and the people He loves.

For what it’s worth, although it’s still a sin to give up the faith, the greater evil and hence the greater sin is with the one that subjects you to a situation where you’re forced to sin. Greater accountability rests with those who create unjust social structures that force people to do evil because doing what’s good is condemned.

It’s better to be condemned by the world for doing the right thing and being yourself, even if that means being very different and at odds with the culture to the point of suffering for it, than to be celebrated for doing evil and conforming to worldly standards and expectations. At the end of the day, the only thing that will really matter is God’s judgment on your actions, because whatever you do or fail to do in this world is between Him and you.

God’s Silence

I believe in the sun even if it isn’t shining. I believe in love even when I am alone. I believe in God even when He is silent. – Anonymous World War II refugee

The most distressing thing you can hear is to not hear anything at all from God when you’re right in the middle of Hell.

It’s easy to say that you’re never alone because God is always with us, but in practice it’s utterly difficult to believe that when you need Him to intervene with an evil that’s happening – and especially if it’s happening to you – but you don’t see Him do anything to stop it. Feeling all alone and abandoned, it’s easier to cry out at the top of your lungs that “God is nowhere!”

Despite the seeming silence, God is still with us up to this day and age because He wants to be intimately involved in our lives, if we let Him. Because He is God, He literally has the power to stop evil in this world. If He doesn’t then it doesn’t mean it’s His fault. Remember that His ways our not our ways; He has a purpose in allowing bad things to happen that will ultimately work out to our best interest. Besides, He finds ways to give us good things also, sometimes despite ourselves.

In the midst of evil, God is facing the trials and tragedies of life by our side. In moments of despair it does feel like we’re all alone, but that’s not true. He will never leave us, most especially in the lowest points and saddest moments of our lives. Some good will come out of this, even if we never find out or really understand it during our lifetime. And, really, He doesn’t even expect us to understand His will; it’s enough to know that whatever trials He allows will be for our good, in time.

No student is greater than his Teacher. If we think God is so quiet in the company of so much evil, then we’re not alone: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Even Jesus, in His humanity, experienced this same thing (Matthew 27:46). But He had to die because love is sacrificial in nature. Dying for us was the best proof that the Father could show us how much He loved us, even if there was an easier way for Him to do so. Compared to previous times, the Father stayed silent when Jesus cried out to Him to show that He wouldn’t intervene in what had to happen, because out of love for us, He knows His Son’s death for the atonement of our sins had to happen. If there’s ever any doubt that good can somehow come out of this, then look no further than Jesus’ Passion and death on the Cross.

Even in our darkest hours, and most especially during such, He’s actually still there. Being a follower of Christ doesn’t necessarily mean that we will escape all the pain in this world, for such isn’t necessarily part of His plan. However what being a follower means is we’re not facing the trials of life alone. And with all the faith we can muster, we can cry out in a loud voice that, instead of saying “God is nowhere!” we say instead “God is now-HERE!”

On a side-note: We cannot expect God to be selectively “noisy.” We can’t expect Him to intervene when someone is doing evil but then stay out of our way when we ourselves are doing something evil. Ultimately this matter also goes down to God’s continuing respect for His gift of free will to us. And God was, is, and will always be consistent.

Man of Weak Faith

I can most relate to that one character in the movie that keeps on going to Confession, because, like all of us, he has a favorite sin. All throughout the movie, he confesses the same sin. This man’s sin in particular was renouncing his faith whenever his life was in peril; he doesn’t need to be forced to do so.

The fact that he keeps on repeating the same sin again and again is not the point. The point is he acknowledges how much he needs Jesus in his life, and despite his weakness, always makes the effort to try and come back. I’m not disappointed that he kept on committing the same sin; I actually admire that he kept on coming back and was genuinely sincere in all his attempts to reform his life. If I can appreciate that, then for sure God appreciates that, too (Luke 15:7). Each time he came back, it became a testimony of God’s infinite mercy and love for His children.

I’m a man of weak faith. I’d like to think that I’ve taken steps over the years to try and grow my trust and confidence in our Lord; I constantly pray for the grace to do so. My faith is not tested with my life, which is a good thing of course, but it’s tested everyday by how much effort I’m willing to exert to be obedient to God’s commands of love. In this day and age, this is the opportunity for people like me to shine as martyrs for Jesus.

But should the terrible day come when I need to pay for my faith with my life, or if absolutely necessary, also with the lives of other people, I honestly don’t know if I can do it. By my own power, for sure nothing will happen. And so on that day, I will look to God, and despite His seeming silence, and with what little faith I can muster, put my hope and trust in Him that He will give me the grace to do what He wants me to do. I hope it never does, but should the terrible day come, I know that this is what He’ll want me to do.

Jesus, I trust in You!

[Editorial note: I also incorporated what I learned from a few Homilies. One of the priests of my parish talked about God being “nowhere” when he eventually realized that He is always “now-here.” A guest priest that celebrated Mass in another parish talked about the Father’s silence during the Passion as an example of why He didn’t intervene. I’m grateful I actually paid attention to what the priests were saying since such have also informed my insights on the matter.]

Categories: Religion

Measuring Your Vacation Success

April 12, 2017 Leave a comment

I wondered if there was some anecdotal measure that can be used to attempt to quantify how successful one’s vacation is. I actually thought about this before, qualitatively. Now I’m looking for something actually measurable to a certain extent; this is one way that I think might work.

Overall Principle: A vacation is successful if you have complete control of your time out from work to complete what you want to do within the budget you set for yourself.

Factor 1: Time Ownership

The point of going on a vacation is you have time for yourself. The idea is you have all of your vacation time – 100.00% – to do as you please. Any deviation from the ideal should be measured.

Parameters:

1. The base unit of measuring time is one hour.
2. The start date of your vacation is counted at 12:00:00 a.m. of the day you say your break will start.
3. The end date of your vacation is up to 11:59:59 p.m. of the day just before the day you say you’ll report back to work.
4. Your total vacation time is the number of hours between your start date and end date.

For example:
• If you say your vacation starts on April 7, then it starts at 12:00:00 a.m. of April 7.
• If you say you’ll return to the office on April 17, then your vacation is up to 11:59:59 p.m. of April 16.
• Your total vacation time is 216.0 hours.

If you still need to do some work then it should be at the absolute minimum needed, and nothing more.

The following are illustrative examples of what can be counted as work and hence “you’re still working;” by no means is this exhaustive as there could be other situations that can be considered work:

1. Checking work e-mail is counted as work; attending meetings would be worse.
2. Any time you spend showing up as online using your company’s messaging system is counted as work, because it opens the possibility of you getting contacted.
3. Ideally no one from the office will contact you during your vacation. However if you get a text or call, then the time spent processing such contact is counted as work.
4. Spending time inside the office premises, even if you’re literally not doing anything, is counted as work – you could / should be somewhere else during your vacation.
5. Thinking about anything related to work is counted as work – you’re supposed to detach yourself from your business, otherwise technically you’re still working.

Work time: Count the total number of hours these work-related tasks accumulate. This number of hours represents time ownership you lost because of work.

The time you have should be at your full disposal to do as you please. If you’re given non-work-related tasks that were not previously established as something you agreed to do on a regular basis, in other words you’re doing work (“chores?”) that someone else asked you to do, then that is still time taken away from you that you could have otherwise spent on what you want to do.

For example: Your friend asked a favor that you drive him to the airport. Considering traffic and the time and effort to do this task, such is time that you could have otherwise used for your own benefit.

Other work time: Count the total number of hours these non-work-related tasks accumulate. This number of hours represents time ownership you lost because of these tasks.

Computation procedure:
1. Total the work time and other work time and subtract this from your total vacation time.
2. Express the time you actually owned as a percentage of your total vacation time.

For example:
• You still got called to provide information to a colleague and that took an hour to complete.
• On another day, you had no choice but to drive your friend to the airport, and the whole effort took four hours of your time.
• At the end of your vacation, you only owned 216.0 – 1.0 – 4.0 = 211.0 hours or 97.69% of your time.

For further analysis, try also measuring your importance at work. In theory, it shouldn’t be surprising that if you’re more important at work, then there’s a tendency for you to still be asked to do some form or another of work during your vacation.

Factor 2: Task Completion

It’s important to have a plan of what you want to do during your vacation. You might have full ownership of your vacation time, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve successfully used it.

Success as used in this context is defined as the ability to complete something you want to do during the time you set out for vacation.

Guidance:
1. Explicitly list down what you want to do. Either that or at least have an implicit but clear understanding of what you want to do during your vacation.
2. Be specific enough so that you can easily measure success or failure.
3. And just as important, be realistic in the goals you set.
4. Not having a plan to do anything at all should NOT be considered a waste of time – choosing to not do anything is still choosing to do something.
5. Note that it’s possible you find yourself doing more things than you originally planned to do due to opportunities and circumstances, and that’s good – it just means you made more use of your vacation time to do what you want to do.

For example:
• You target to complete reading a 1,000 page book in a span of 216.0 hours. Knowing yourself, you know this isn’t realistic. By the end of those hours, you’re not even half-way through the book. You thus fail to complete this task.
• Using the same scenario, you set a more realistic target to complete reading the first 100 pages of the book – as far as you’re concerned, that’s enough to say that you started reading it. By the end of your vacation, you can mark this task as completed.

Computation procedure:
1. Total all the tasks you set out to do during your vacation. Count those tasks you marked as completed.
2. Express the tasks you’ve been able to complete as a percentage of the total tasks you set out to do.
3. If you literally didn’t plan on doing anything at all (just sit back and watch life pass you by and what-not) then consider yourself as 100.00% on completing your tasks.

For example: You planned to do 10 things during your 216.0 hour vacation, and managed to complete all but one of them (you barely got to open the book you wanted to start reading) in the end. You’ve thus completed 90.00% of your tasks.

Factor 3: Financial Forecast

One way or another, going on vacation not surprisingly still involves spending money, and such is still something that has to be considered.

Guidance:
1. If money isn’t a problem, then automatically consider yourself as 100.00% on target.
2. If money needs to be monitored, then set a budget, and track your expenses daily against that budget.

Computation procedure:
1. At the end of your vacation, if you’ve spent less than or equal to your target budget, then consider yourself as 100.00% on target.
2. However if you went over-budget, then compute the variance of this over-budget and subtract that from 100.00%.
3. Note that getting severely over-budget can lead to negative values when finally computing how much you’ve deviated from the target.

For example:
• For your 216.0 hour vacation you allotted to budget PHP 1,000.00 for any and all expenses. However you ended up spending PHP 1,100.00 instead. You thus went (1,100 – 1,000) / 1,100 * 100 = 10.00% over-budget.
• As far as your financial forecast is concerned, you’re only 100% – 10% = 90.00% on target.

Final Assessment

Take all factors into consideration when you assess your vacation success. Depending on your priorities, assign a specific weight to each of them; obviously this can be quite arbitrary, and it really depends on your priorities, so use what makes sense to you.

As a starting point, you can assign weights to each factor as follows:
1. Time Ownership: 40.00%.
2. Task Completion: 30.00%.
3. Financial Forecast: 30.00%.

Computation procedure:
1. Multiply the percentage of each factor by the respective weight you assigned to it.
2. Get the total of the resulting percentages to get your final percentage assessment of your vacation success.

For example:
• Throughout your 216.0 hour vacation, you only owned 97.69% of that time. (From your measurement of work importance, you happen to be just important enough to be asked a few things here and there hence some work was still expected from you.) The weight this carries is 97.69% * 40.00% = 39.07%.
• You only completed 90.00% of the tasks you planned. The weight this carries is 90.00% * 30.00% = 27.00%.
• You went over-budget by 10.00%, hence you were only able to achieve 90.00% of your targeted budget. The weight this carries is 90.00% * 30.00% = 27.00%.
• Your total vacation success metric is 39.07% + 27.00% + 27.00% = 93.07%.

Guidance:
1. In this day and age, a perfect vacation probably doesn’t exist, but if it did, then it would rate at 100.00% based on the anecdotal measurements defined here.
2. I think it’s safe to say that a rating of 90.00% and above means your vacation was “realistically good.”
3. A rating between 70.00% – 90.00% is still okay, all things considered, but for sure it “could have been better.”
4. Anything below 70.00% can be considered “poor” / “better than nothing since it was still something” (obviously not as satisfying).  And rating 50.00% and below can mean the vacation was a failure / disaster.

At the end of the day, it’s important that you live the life you want to live. And this isn’t just during time away from work, but every moment of time our good Lord grants to you. You should always make the time for what’s important.  Having a successful vacation is one of those moments you deserve to fully enjoy.

Categories: Ideas and Philosophy

Beware of Passive Aggression

March 25, 2017 Leave a comment

No response is a response.  No update is an update.  Even non-engagement is a form of engagement.  Depending on the context, such behaviors may or may not mean anything.  However such can be enough to create an atmosphere of negativity in any relationship.  What can make matters worse is if the attacked party doesn’t want to call-out such misbehavior for fear of creating an awkward situation and what-not – the resulting tension that builds up from within will simmer the person in his own juices.

Aggression, even if passive, is still aggression.  It’s actively in use by a lot of people in the normal course of daily life (intentionally or otherwise), as an offensive approach against another party.  It’s a deceptive way of oppression by its very subtle nature.

What is Passive Aggressive Behavior?

Passive aggressive behavior takes many forms but can generally be described as a non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behavior. It is where you are angry with someone but do not or cannot tell them. Instead of communicating honestly when you feel upset, annoyed, irritated or disappointed you may instead bottle the feelings up, shut off verbally, give angry looks, make obvious changes in behavior, be obstructive, sulky or put up a stone wall. It may also involve indirectly resisting requests from others by evading or creating confusion around the issue. Not going along with things. It can either be covert (concealed and hidden) or overt (blatant and obvious).

Passive aggression is a destructive pattern of behavior that can be seen as a form of emotional abuse in relationships that bites away at trust between people. It is a creation of negative energy in the ether which is clear to those involved and can create immense hurt and pain to all parties.

There are many ways that can be considered passive aggressive forms of attacks that can come up on any normal day.  To name but a few examples:

1.  You can practice selective self-censoring to withhold information.  This has the effect of shutting out certain people from your life, isolating them in a way.

2. Rather than engaging with people in a healthy debate in social media or via other venues, you shout over them literally or figuratively, or if in social media, you outright just delete their comments.

3. You exclude certain people from work or social events “by accident.”  Either that or you intentionally don’t show up to events organized by someone you don’t like.

4. You talk over someone, pretending they don’t exist, or you interrupt them mid-sentence while they’re still speaking.

5. You let them speak their mind to learn information that can be used against them in the future or at the very least so that you can silently judge them for something.

6. You downplay the other person’s concerns, basically refusing to accept that what he feels about a certain matter is important.  This can be done by stating a concern that might be objectively more important than the other person’s concern.  Such doesn’t make what the other person feels any less valid, but you present it to the person that way anyway.

7. You use a person’s emotions against him – make him react.  Emotional blackmail such as making him feel guilty about something is one way.  If you know the person is sensitive about a particular matter, then bring it up to “trigger” him; he might say or do something stupid as a result.

There are many more ways of inflicting passive aggression.  And speaking for myself, I know I’m actually guilty of practicing a few of those ways.

I can think of only a few counter-measures to combat such attacks, though one’s success can vary, and such are oftentimes easier said than done.

1. Stop caring at all.  Sometimes ignoring such passive aggressive behavior is the best and only thing you can do.  Give in to such an attack and your attacker will know to continue using it against you.

Be aware, however, that not caring can only go so far.  Remember that we’re all still human; at some point the passive aggression will eventually catch-up and still screw with your mind.  You might not care now, but in the long run such can only go so far.  A sustained assault of aggressive passivity will eventually create an environment that’s toxic enough to poison your mind and break you.

2. You don’t have to put up with this – call the person out.  Confront the abusive behavior with evidence and force the attacker to explain himself.  And if necessary, use the court of public opinion as the stage to expose your attacker – let’s just be honest that people love to judge, so you might as well use that very human nature to your advantage.  (Yes, this is in a way manipulative in nature.  But the point is to use whatever is at your disposal to fight back.)  Karma is a bitch, so if needed then apply the same treatment to the person – if absolutely necessary, do what you need to do.

At the end of the day, I think the best that you can hope for is to be aware if someone is assaulting you this way.  If you can avoid the person altogether then that’s the best.  But if there’s no way you can avoid any interaction, then at least watch out and be sensitive (paranoid?) to what he says and does to you and react accordingly.

 

Categories: Ideas and Philosophy

Ingratitude is the New Normal

March 4, 2017 Leave a comment

There’s a principle I learned some time ago, from one of my supervisors over the years, about being grateful when people do their job.  The idea is that we shouldn’t thank people for doing the job they’re expected to do for exactly that reason.  We only thank them if they go beyond what’s expected, and then some.

Although I feel a bit uncomfortable about the idea, in a twisted sort of way I can see why it makes sense.  It’s not like we’re ungrateful to people who do their job – they’re getting paid to do their job anyway.  And it’s only right that they do their job for that same reason.  Perhaps the only time where it makes sense to be thankful to someone when they meet your expectations is when the person does that for free.

However, as time goes on, our expectations from people change.  Basically, we expect more and more from them, especially as they grow in skill and experience.  Delivering above and beyond moves the baseline expectations higher; it becomes the new standard.  And if we still subscribe and apply this idea of when we should thank people, then this leads to less reasons to be grateful for people who deliver more than what’s required from them – what they do to go beyond is “normal” and “expected,” after all (part of their job already).  This eventually leads to a culture of ingratitude to people delivering above expectations, which I think, over time, can become a culture of taking any form of contribution, no matter how great it might be, for granted.

Ingratitude is the new normal.  Perhaps I’m just saying this because I’ve been a recipient of said under-appreciation over the years and the cynical side of me is showing once more.  It has come to the point that I’ve become suspicious about the motives of people for the rare times I get any kind of recognition at all.  But outside of my own experience, I have observed this happen to many people as well; I feel it’s not just me.

If our culture is turning into one of ingratitude, then so be it – and to think, this is for delivering more than what’s expected!  If someone only delivers the minimum – what’s expected, nothing more, nothing less – then there’s this tendency to be disappointed because the person didn’t go above and beyond.  And when that person fails to meet the minimum expectations, we get angry –  this is understandable, obviously this aspect is justifiable because if we have any right to feel angry, then it’s only when people fail to do what they’re expected to do, and not because they only did what’s expected, or they didn’t do more than that.  Now, if the person is actually in a lousy job in the first place, then I think it’s really not fair to expect much from the person, too.

The good news is that we don’t have to subscribe to this idea.  It’s up to us to choose to be grateful and show appreciation to people who do their job, even if they just do exactly that, and even if they aren’t interested or able to give more than just that.  In this day and age, expectations are high enough such that the ability to meet said expectations isn’t a mediocre matter anymore, but in my opinion an actual achievement worth celebrating.  If it’s not too much for us to be grateful to people meeting expectations, then let’s do that, for one way or another such an act would be appreciated.  And I’d venture to say, we’d personally appreciate any gratitude afforded to us as well, since we all carry high expectations to deliver, too.

Ingratitude doesn’t have to be the new normal if we consciously choose to be thankful.

Categories: Ideas and Philosophy

Tactics in Life: Make Things Happen By Limiting or Giving No Choices

February 26, 2017 Leave a comment

In principle, it seems like a very good thing to have plenty of choices.  More is better; if you don’t like the first option, then it’s simply wonderful to be free to choose from a myriad of other options.  It thus feels counter-intuitive to put limitations in one’s choices.

However, having one too many choices can also be problematic.  With so many options to choose from, there’s a risk of suffering from “analysis paralysis.”  It can be a challenge to choose between many similar and just-as-good options.  Rather than being helpful, sometimes having too many choices delays if not outright prevents one from executing an action or making a decision.  This result in things happening later rather than sooner, or worse, not happening at all, if one gets stuck with the choices.

It’s ironic that there seems to be less freedom when you have too many choices, for such can lead to appropriate action getting delayed, if at all pushing through, because a decision couldn’t be made from all the options available.

xkcd-1801-decision-paralysis

If you give someone the option to decline a request then don’t feel bad if they actually do just that.  If it’s that important for you to have someone do something, then state it plainly and make him do it.  Tell him directly what you need him to do without giving him the choice to say “no” since such matters that much to you.

However there’s no point in offering someone the option to decline doing something if the option literally doesn’t even exist.  It’s also a waste of time bothering someone by asking him if he wants to do something or not, if he doesn’t have a choice but to do it.  You simply state that he needs to do it, and he’ll have to do it whether he likes it or not.

If you need something done then it has to be done.  Don’t give people the option to say “no.”  If you absolutely must give options, then limit and tailor whatever options you have to offer so that it leads to the outcome you want.  Make things happen by limiting the choices or not giving any choice at all.

Caveat: This tactic is only right, though, if what you want done isn’t something morally and / or legally reprehensible.  If such isn’t the case, then it’s only proper to expect strong dissent in what you want to happen.

There’s something to be said about exploring other options; it’s a good thing, in fact even necessary, at times.  But there’s also truth in that actions and command decisions happen and sometimes happen faster when there aren’t many choices, or if there isn’t any choice at all.  The key is to discern when it makes sense to entertain as many options as possible, or when to limit or remove such.  But if you know something needs to get done, there’s nothing immoral about it, and there’s only few ways or only one way of making such happen, then there aren’t many options in the matter.

Categories: Ideas and Philosophy

Series of Letting Go and Moving On

February 12, 2017 Leave a comment

Life is a series of letting go and moving on.

Let go of the need to be perfect in all aspects of your life; such is unrealistic anyway.  Move on by accepting that imperfection is a part of who you are, which, ironically, is sometimes the very reason why you are a better person.  Acknowledging and embracing that imperfection reminds you to be humble, less judgmental of others, and more open to allow God to use such as an opportunity for Him to show you how much He loves you.

Let go of pride and the need to be right all the time.  Move on by accepting that you could also be wrong, that you don’t have a monopoly of the truth, and that there will be many people out there who are better than you that are worthy of recognition and respect as much as you, if not more.

Let go of the desire to have someone special in your life – most especially when this want for someone is already consuming you.  Move on by making yourself that special person you deserve to have in your life.  And perhaps someday, someone who is truly right for you will see that, too – and that person will be the one to endeavor to be a part of your life.

Let go of holding on to a cause that’s already lost.  Time is limited, and you can only do so much with what little time you think you have in this world.  Move on by re-focusing your energy to those endeavors that are a better investment of your time because you can still do something about it.

Let go of whatever obsession you might harbor with youth and beauty.  There’s a time for everything.  Youth and beauty never really lasts forever; it will be taken away from you whether you like it or not.  By all means when you have it, enjoy it for as long as it lasts.  But move on by striving to age not just gracefully but also grace-fully.

Let go of the people you love when their time comes.  It’s not right to keep them in this valley of tears when they have finally earned their turn to go home to God.  Cherish them while they’re still with you.  And when it’s time, move on by living your life to the fullest even if they’re no longer present in your life, because that’s what they would want for you, and that’s how best you can honor their memory.

Finally, let go of your life and everyone and everything in this world when your own time comes.  Nothing and nobody lasts forever, and that, for better or worse, includes you.  You don’t own your life and you can’t take anything with you when you go; your life and everyone and everything in it came from God and belongs to God, and when the time comes to return it, such will happen.  Move on with the peace of mind that in place of what you’ll lose in this world, you’re getting something so much better, because God wants to give you a reward beyond all understanding that will truly satisfy the very depths of your soul; you’ll finally have the happiness you’ve long desired for all of eternity.

Categories: Ideas and Philosophy