Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Just Being Silly: Happy Pi Day!

March 14, 2015 Leave a comment

March 14 is Pi Day!  The year 2015 is particularly special compared to previous years because we celebrate more of its decimal points.  It officially started at 9:26:53 a.m. (3/14/15 9:26:53 = 3.141592653).  Half-way through Pi day is at 9:26:53 p.m., and with this day being so epic, the half-way point would be so Pi rad.  And by the time celebrations end the following day at the time it started, it would have come to full 2 Pi rad!

The last time it was ever this epic was March 14, 1592 at 6:54 a.m. and 6:54 p.m.  The next time we will see this level of grandeur will be on March 14, 2115; a completely new generation would obviously be there by then.  Special Pi days like this are once in a lifetime events.

The number Pi is a mystery in itself.  In it contains the secrets of the universe and all that is known and can possibly be known, hidden in the infinite depths of its decimal points.  According to a friend of mine, “The decimal part of Pi is the only infinite, non-repeating number series. It has all the possible number combinations. And if you convert that to binary or hex then you can find all the possible pictures, songs words stories that can ever be written. So you can say it has every possible moments in our life somewhere in it, you just need to find the right place and time.”  One can only wonder at the beauty hidden in the number, if only we were to make the effort to find it!

Because today is Pi Day, I celebrated it by attempting to understand one of life’s curiosities: How to sob mathematically.

Sobbing Mathematically

My initial thinking was that sobbing mathematically would follow a pattern modeled from a Fourier series form, similar to how eye blinking is executed in the latter model Noonian Soong android.  In observing the half-Vulcan, half-human Spock that first introduced and demonstrated the concept of sobbing mathematically, it quickly dawned on me that such a pattern cannot possibly be discerned and most likely doesn’t exist because weeping is a product of a strong emotional response.  And by their very nature, emotions have a tendency to be occasionally very illogical – quite irrational, just like Pi.

Of all the people that ever lived, and who have yet to come into this world, it’s only Chuck Norris who has proven that Pi is rational – and that is all.

Happy Pi Day!  And may we all live long and prosper.

Categories: Entertainment

The IT Professionals’ Laws (2nd Edition)

June 26, 2010 Leave a comment

Developer’s Law: Debug and debug the code until it compiles.

Team Lead’s Law: Rework and rework the module until it is signed-off.

Tester’s Law: Run and run the test script until you get the expected results. 

Technical Administrator’s Laws:
1.    Hack and hack the system until you gain access.
2.    Crack up the registry and find the solution to disable ALT-TAB. 
       •    Corollary: See User’s Law # 3.

Manager’s Laws:
1.    Plan and plan the work plan until the release goes live.
2.    Always prioritize the managers no matter how small the problem is.
3.    Let’s spend this year’s budget.  Yes, we have to. 
4.    No web filters will be applied to all Managers.
5.    Don’t hire an applicant who has a Master’s Degree on ALT-TABBING.
      •    Reversal: See User’s Law # 3.

Continuous Improvement Lead’s Law: Re-baseline and re-baseline the work plan until the metrics become green.

System Administrator’s Laws:
1.    Troubleshoot and troubleshoot the system until it comes online. 
       •    Reversal: Do not to do shortcut troubleshooting.  Always do a hard reboot.
2.    Reboot and reboot the server until it stabilizes. 
       •    Corollary: If users don’t want the server rebooted then compromise and say that you’ll just restart the kernel.
3.    Migrate and migrate the code until the developers give you something that actually works. 
4.    Ignore a problem long enough and it either becomes irrelevant or someone else solves it for you.
      •    Corollary: Wait 10 years before resolving a problem.
5.    To find out who owns / uses an environment when no party is identified, decommission it and wait for someone to scream and panic because it’s missing. 

Technical Support’s Laws:
1.    Follow the troubleshooting script even if it wastes the time of users who know exactly what the problem is, and may even know how it should be solved, because that is procedure.
2.    Put users on hold until they give up.
3.    Agree to anything just to get the user to shut up / move on – but don’t act on it.  Have the next Technical Support person handle the follow-up.

User’s Laws:
1.    Follow-up and follow-up the System Administrators / Technical Support until they do the needful (or find a way to get you to shut up / move on). 
2.    Skip Technical Support – let’s ask the experts.
3.    What is ALT-TAB?

Technical Architect’s Law: Design and design the solution until it works and performs optimally.

Technical Lead’s Law: Pretend to know what you’re doing long enough until people actually think you know what you’re doing and consider you a real Subject Matter Expert. 

Senior Executive’s (President, CEO, CTO, CIO, etc.) Law: Sell and sell your IT work until someone buys it. 

Liaison’s / Account Manager’s Law: Bluff and bluff to the client that “everything is alright” until the system explodes. 

HR’s Law: Interview and interview applicants until some fool accepts the offer. 

Obviously these are all just half-meant jokes.  Promise!  Hehehe! Open-mouthed smile

Ultimately my point is this: There’s never a dull moment in IT. 

Yeah, you’d be surprised.  But that’s why I’m in this industry.  Open-mouthed smile  (With my excellent qualifications I could have gone into show business and ramp modeling, but that’s another story for another time.)

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Dio and Rommel for contributing a few of the ideas here.  This edition also takes into consideration a number of additional Laws that I got from Mon. 

Categories: Entertainment

A Love Story: “TEXT”

June 9, 2010 Leave a comment
Boy: Di ko na kaya ‘tong ginagawa mo sa akin eh. Lagi na lang! Sa lahat na lang ng sasabihin mo, nahihirapan ako. I’m sorry babe, I just can’t take it anymore. Sobrang pagod na akong intidihin ka. Sad smile
Girl: ,,bvHeillB aNoUh bV4h 3An6 pN46xx4b1h m)uH ?? di cKitAh mA1NtiNd1hAn !! aNoUh bV4Ng NuAg4w4h Q0uUh x3oH !! bV4T k4h nKk1pAg bVr3Yk xK3n ?! pFuaG uXz4P4N nhU4T3N to !! JUJUJU !! T_T
Ang gulo ng mga Jejemon! Nosebleed!!! Baring teeth smile
Categories: Entertainment

Don’t Google Chuck Norris!

February 21, 2010 Leave a comment
I actually tried this and was surprised at the result that I got.

1. Go to Google and enter "Where can I find Chuck Norris".
2. Click the "I’m Feeling Lucky" button.

You’ll be amazed at what you get. Seriously.

Categories: Entertainment

10 Conyo-mandments

April 20, 2009 Leave a comment
This is from Rache, last September 11, 2008; I’ve been trying to find this for quite a while, and I’m glad I finally did.
This is so funny, like, nakakatawa. You make basa and you will like make tawa, you know!
10 Conyo-mandments
1. Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa".
"Let’s make pasok na to our class!"
"Wait lang! I’m making kain pa!"
"Come on na, we can’t make hintay anymore! It’s in Andrew pa, you know?"
2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "diba" and "eh" in your pangungusap.
"I don’t like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it’s like, so
eew, diba?"
"What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?"
"Eh as if you want naman also, diba?"
3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It’s SO pang-uri!"
"It’s so malaki, you know, and so mainit!"
"I know right? So sarap nga, eh!"
"You’re making me inggit naman.. I’ll make bili nga my own burger."
4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", ‘tsong" or "pare"
"Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare."
"I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh"
5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
"My bag is so bigat today, you know"
"I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!"
6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.
"I have so many tigyawats, oh!"
7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?
"Like, it’s so init naman!"
"Yah! The aircon, it’s, like sira!"
8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
"Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?"
"It’s so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"
9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?"
"Like, OMG! It’s like traffic sa LRT"
"I know right? It’s so kaka!"
10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!
"I’m, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!"
"Me naman, I’m from Lazzahl!"
Categories: Entertainment


April 19, 2009 1 comment
This is from an old e-mail from my friend, Vanessa, dated June 10, 1999.  Enjoy.  BTW a note to the guys keeping count: As you compute your score, be warned of the very last line of the last entry. Smile
POGINOMETRY – the mathematics of expressing the sum of a man’s appeal to women.
For more than a handsome pair of X and Y chromosomes, there are indeed many other factors that size up male magnetism such as a very persuasive "peso"nality that attracts women like a giant lodestone drawing fine metal pieces to its folds.  Image thus becomes a configuration of various non-facial and non-physical pluses and minuses which fine-tune the cyber- picture of the Ideal Man.
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. The shortest time to reach a girl’s house, er, heart is normally by flashing a car.
Owning one is automatic 10 pogi points.  Chauffer-driven, plus 20 pogi points. Subtract 5 if it’s the rinky-dinky type that regularly breaks down when going out on dates.  Add 10 pogi points if brand new.  Add 20 more if it’s a Japanese car and 50 if it’s either a Benz or a BMW. A Porsche is disqualified from earning points because anyone who owns one automatically becomes a Richard Gomez clone.  No pogi points, sadly, for perennial pedestrians.  Plus 30 pogi points, though, if you ride a mountain bike to school or to work (health buffs are cool).  If you happen to pedal through Edsa via pedicab, minus 50 pogi points.
Often suggests if the guy’s gene pool has a tradition of success and excellence.  If the family name smells of politics, add 10 pogi points. If it’s a Marcos or any crony-sounding name, subtract 50 pogi points.  If the lineage could be traced to a Spanish friar, add another 10 pogi points (tisoy muy bien!).  If it’s a taipan-sounding name, add 20 pogi points. No pogi points for ethnic-sounding family names.
Where you live indicates how you live.  If you’re from Manila, you’ve got to be streetsmart.  A Makati address suggests urbanidad. Alabang and Novaliches, a suburban, less stressful existence.
Thus, a Makati address gets an automatic 5 pogi points, while an Alabang address an automatic 10 pogi points.  If in Makati, Dasma, Magallanes, and Forbes plus 20, San Lorenzo Village and San Antonio Village plus 10, Bel-Air plus 5, 10 pogi points for New Manila, Greenhills, and Valle Verde.  No pogi points for those who live in Corinthian Garden because many houses there were reportedly built on hidden wealth.  In QC, 10 pogi points for residents of White Plains, Blue Ridge, St. Ignatius, Xavierville, La Vista, and Ayala Heights.
"Gillage (as in gilid ng village) people," no pogi points.  No pogi points, too, for Looban, Gagalangin, Calumpang, San Andres Bukid, Tatalon Estate and >Dasma — as in Cavite — residents.
High School
If we had a local Official Preppy Handbook, alumni of all-boys, old Catholic schools like La Salle, Ateneo, Letran, San Beda would earn 30 pogi points. Graduates of UK and US prep schools, 20 pogi points (lamang sila sa Inglesan). Any school abroad, plus 15 pogi points. Any other younger exclusive Catholic schools like Xavier, Don Bosco, Aquinas, and South Ridge, 10 pogi points. Basta nakatapos ng high school, plus 5 pogi points.
If a guy is into soccer, plus 10 pogi points.  Any racket sport (except pingpong and pelota), plus 15 pogi points.  If engaging in not-so-popular but sosyal sports like rowing, fencing, and archery as well as sepak takraw, arnis, eskrima, sika-ran (indigenous sports are "in" dahil eksotik), plus 20 pogi points  For the golf enthusiast, plus 50 pogi points.  Talent and skills in tongits, minus 50 pogi points because it’s too hoi poloi.  No pogi points for basketball because three-fourths of men are PBA fanatics.
Membership in AIESEC and its local hybrids (like IBA and JMA) that have chapters in DLSU, Ateneo, Miriam, Assumption, SAMASA (UP), Huyat (Ateneo), LSDA (DLSU) plus 5 pogi points because they a conscience to speak of — now rare among college students.
If the current squeeze or the former flame is a beauty titlist, an Absolut girl, or one of Manila’s Five Prettiest, automatic 50 pogi points.  A campus celebrity or a showbiz denizen, 40 pogi points. If the typical pretty colegiala, 30 pogi points.  Any girl, plus 10 pogi points.  A mainstay of "That’s Entertainment," minus 100 pogi points.
Categories: Entertainment

How to Create Your Rock Band

March 29, 2009 Leave a comment
My manager, Miguel, has a talent for creating his own "non-work" stuff to forward.  I think he gets his ideas from the voices he hears in his head.  So anyways, here’s something new that was a hit with the team just before the start of this weekend.  Re-posting his "non-work" here for everyone to try it out too.
How to Create Your Rock Band:
  1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click  The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
  2. Go to Quotations Page and select “random quotations” or click  The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.
  3. Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click  Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
  4. Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together (or paint).
Here’s what came up for him:
Roland, my team’s resident Mensa, certified ethical hacker and security expert, got this:
Our senior manager, Tep, tried it out and his iteration really made his day:
Allan, who currently works with "real world projects," got something that seems to remotely resonate the real world (either that or I’m just imagining the association):

Rejeem’s iteration is…  Unfortunately it came out more like a porn-flick-type of album art, which I dare not post. Tongue out
Finally, here’s mine:
Mine looks nothing like the sort of album that a rock band would produce.  In fact it’s probably closer to an artist with the likes of Weird Al Yankovic, like a crazy / mad philosopher who hit his head on the wall one too many times, or something.
But it was fun.  Hope you too have fun in creating your Rock Band! Open-mouthed

Quick shout-out goes to Emmilyn — enjoy your current day shift schedule my dear! Smile
Categories: Entertainment